Disclaimer: The following article was done as part of a submission for a local travel agency. The company in question chose not to use the article, but I still rather like it.
Just whisper ‘Peru’ in a crowded room and it’s likely to inspire esoteric imagery of verdant, cloud-tipped mountain peaks, encasing the intricate stone terraces of Machu Picchu in even the least imaginative traveller. After all, the ancient Incan citadel is on the itineraries of 99% of international visitors to the country. But despite playing host to 5 000 inquisitive adventurers a day, Machu Picchu’s vast, labyrinthine layout conceals unseen hideaways and secret sites that will surprise those returning for a second- or even a tenth time. In this way, Machu Picchu isn’t just one of Peru’s most famous landmarks, it’s also an apt metaphor for the country as a whole.
Or: How We Violated Several Zoning Regulations for Charity
“You know what we should do?” Cara says, as we squint against morning the sun and drink too-strong (and therefore perfect) coffee, “we should do a fundraiser for the victims of xenophobic violence at the Ethiopian restaurant.”
“That’s a good idea,” I tell her, because it is, but I don’t even know where to begin.
Remember how much simpler it was to get dressed when you had a school uniform? Sure, it didn’t fit properly most of the time, provided zero protection against the weather in any season, and made you look like a twat and feel like a prisoner. But it also meant that choosing your outfit of the day was far less confusing or taxing in the morning.
To be fair, you probably also spent a lot less time hung-over as a high school student, which also helps matters.
This post originally appeared on 22Seven’s blog. If you suck with money, download their app, read the funny blog posts, and for the love of the dark lord and all that is unholy, please stop buying Lotto tickets.
Here’s a confession: I tried freelancing before, back when I was still young enough to think I could get away with purple eye-liner and home-made haute couture. I tried and I failed- miserably. Between not knowing how to charge properly, to not knowing how to enforce those charges properly, I spent more time worrying about money than I did working for it.
It’s been a long time since I’ve had the emotional fortitude to write anything longer than a Whatsapp message.
asshole acquaintance telling me that I’d ‘let my audience down’ after my ’15 minutes of fame’ by not regularly updating my blog (insert wanking gesture here), I figured that most people would understand my need to insulate and isolate in the last couple of months, given that my life, as I knew it, has recently been razed to the ground.
Who doesn’t love a good whine? Or wine…? Whatever.
Social media has given us direct access to brands and companies, which in turn has provided an effective channel to air our grievances to those brands and companies. It also allows you to make nasty comments directly to celebrities, and to struggling, South African comedy bloggers you’ve never even met on satirical posts you don’t completely understand.
Because you’re an asshole.
So it’s been a while since I posted to this blog- although not for lack of trying… actually, no, no… it’s exactly for a lack of trying.
Between Adam’s ongoing recovery, and my own (until recently) crushing work load- and subsequent battle with the black dog- I just haven’t had the time, the energy or the inclination to waste your time with another ridiculous blog post.
It’s been a long week- and it’s nowhere near over yet… so this week’s post is going to be short and sweet, easily consumed, and built on the back of someone else’s efforts. It’s very capitalist that way.
I realised, while searching for new music and failing because “all this new stuff sounds like crap”, that I am getting old. Not just 2-day hangover and ‘what did I do to my back old’, but also mentally old. I am becoming (more) stubborn and inflexible, more set in my ways. Soon, it will be very difficult to teach this bitch any new tricks.
Syllable invited me along as her ‘plus one’ on Sunday evening to attend the media performance of Spamalot, currently on at the Joburg Theatre. I had heard of the Broadway show a couple of times through the Internet, and to be honest, wasn’t really sure what to expect.